stillarhino | inbox & overflow

[Talking about death had always been hard for Beat, and it shows in how he squirms, shifting in his seat. Even if he knew about Trahearne's own death, it didn't make the topic any easier.]

Shit, man. Eight years? No wonder you's in shock.

[A lot had changed in the time Neku was gone but the amount of time paled in comparison to eight.]

But yeah. It was like Phones was dead for three an' stuff kept happening without him.

[ Ah, Phones is the name of a person. Trahearne nods slightly when he gets it, mostly to himself. ]

I suppose it is the nature of things.

[ He feels like...that isn't quite it, and he's still reeling from several revelations Aglovan had given him, but he'll let Beat speak. ]

But your friend came back.

[ Had he said this last year, it would have been tinted with bitterness. Not this time around, though. It's just an observation.

Trahearne is never going back. ]

[A small smile finds its way onto Beat's lips. He remembered the relief he felt when Neku did return. How, after so long, he felt like he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding in. How shocked, how relieved, how happy he felt now that his friend was back.]

Yeah. Yeah, he did.

[Somehow, he had known that Neku wasn't dead. That he was out there despite whatever one believed.]

[But slowly Beat's expression shifted to one of realization—his eyes widening, brows moving further up his forehead. That wasn't the case with Trahearne though, was it?

Oh. Oh shit.]

Crap. I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

[ Trahearne's gaze drops for a second, before he looks back up at Beat. There's a small smile on his face, the tiniest hint of melancholy in his eyes. It's been a while since he's worn this look. ]

It's all right. I...suspected something like this must happen at some point. As much peace as I've made with the reality, it is still...shocking.

[ And a bit sad.

He pauses, before a genuine hue takes over his expression. ]

I am glad your friend came back, though. He must be dear to you.

[ He Knows That Look, My Guy ]

[Beat makes a mental note not to mentioned things like that around Trahearne if it's a sore spot for him. Thankfully it's not something that's likely to come up again. Hopefully.

He still feels awkward about it as he scratches the back of his neck. But he's thankful for the change of subject.]

Heh, yeah. It's 'cause a' Neku I ain't a sorry-ass punk no more. [He chuckles at that. At least now he's just a punk.] Wouldn't know what I'd do without him.

[ Trahearne just looks at Beat for a moment after he says that. There's an odd softness to his expression; he thinks of himself. Of the people--person, really--he could not do without.

At home, at least. He would not be who he is without him.

...Though there is that twinge of disappointment again. ]

Those sorts of people are incredibly important to both of us. [ He gently places a hand on Beat's shoulder and squeezes. He gets u my dude. ] I hope he's there waiting to greet you when you awaken.

He better, yo! I was there when he got back!

[The squeeze and weight on his shoulder is enough to make Beat turn to Trahearne. But suddenly his brows knit together as a puzzled look begins to form.]

Yo, why you lookin' at me all funny?

[ Trahearne tilts his head, the softness of his expression slowly morphing into confusion. ]

Am I?

[ He doesn't think so.

He drops his hand and rests it in his lap again. ]

I'm glad you have someone like that, Beat. Not everyone does.

[Somehow he can't help but feel like he missed something, his brows remaining furrowed. Clearly he hasn't put two and two together.]

Don't you got someone like that back home too? That second of yours you told me 'bout.

I do, yes.

[ He's so happy Beat remembered... He doesn't talk about his commander much. Beat is only the third person in all of Songerein who knows how much he loved him--the first two have already departed.

It's hard not to smile at the memory of him, though, nor at the revelation that Beat has the same. ]

He's lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you do.

[Huh?]

[What does Nightlight mean by that?]

[Wait. Was he talking about Neku?]

[...Neku has someone who loves him as much as—]

[...]

[Wait.]

[Wait.]

[WHAT DOES HE MEAN HE LOVES NEKU?]

[The realization comes slow, but the blush comes fast and furious. Trahearne has a front row to Beat's entire face journey as everything sinks in, finally reaching a climax when he opens his mouth, his hands waving frantically in front of him.]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Ain't said nothin' 'bout lovin' no one, yo! 'Specially not 'bout Phones!

[He speaks fast, practially tripping over his own syllables. It's... really quite a spectacle.]

Edited 2023-07-24 06:51 (UTC)

[ The confused look stays on Trahearne's face; he observes as Beat goes through every emotion humanly possible, not quite understanding what he said warrants such a reaction.

But Beat's final exclamation causes him to lean back a bit, not exactly expecting the outburst or the speed at which he speaks. Trahearne blinks, taken aback, and his brows knit. ]

No, perhaps not. But your tone and eyes speak much louder than your words alone.

[ :) ]

I—

[I what? What was he going to say next? Okay sure, he can admit he admired Neku. And yes, he does care for Neku, just like he did Rhyme or any of their other friends but... Somehow, he feels like Trahearne doesn't mean it the way he was thinking.

So he stares at his Sylvari friend for a bit longer, mouth agape, eyes wide.

Did he love Neku like that?

Eventually, he turns to look away, diverting his gaze to the ground and hanging his head between his arms.]

I dunno, yo...

[ As Beat stares at him, Trahearne stares back. The softer smile on his face slowly vanishes as the silence drags on.

Oh, was he off the mark, then...?

When Beat looks away, so does Trahearne. Instead, the sylvari stares out into the distance. ]

It's all right. You don't have to know.

[ Well. He didn't know for a long time, but that's not exactly the point here. ]

I apologise if I overstepped.

[Beat shakes his head as he lets out a sigh, looking back up, a little read in the cheeks.]

Nah, nah. You's good, yo. It's jus'...

[He feels sheepish about the whole thing. But it wasn't as if he wanted to discount what Trahearne said either, despite his embarrassment. He reaches up to scratch the back of his head.]

It ain't really something I thought 'bout before, you know? Leas' maybe likin' Neku like that, you know?

[ Trahearne glances over at Beat, sympathizing with his sheepishness. Ah... It's familiar, to say the least. He remembers when...

...Never mind that. ]

You are the only one who understands how you feel. [ He gives a small smile. ] Even if I am wrong, I can tell you care for him very much.

inbox & overflow | songerein

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1/9 I think

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done lmao

:)))))

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hi unkie sorry i took forever ilu :c

it ok c:

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